H Anthony Hildebrand

H Anthony Hildebrand's site

All-purpose political satire featuring zombies

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…Eventually the numbers of the walking undead surpassed those of the living. And still they rose from their graves, unstoppable.

Soon proponents of democracy were forced to admit that the zombie hordes, despite their unpalatable dietary habits, deserved political representation. (As a great man once said, the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.)

Living humans, both the compassionate and unscrupulous (believing, respectively, that they could empower the zombies to become constructive members of society, and that they could influence the undead to act towards their own nefarious ends) assisted in establishing a pro-zombie political party, fielding zombie candidates in important elections.

Special allowances were made for the zombies when it came to voting – for instance, rather than filling in a ballot, the undead were permitted to indicate their preference by gnawing on a meat-filled effigy of their selected candidate.

Inevitably, their sheer numbers, and the ‘Use Your Brains – Vote Zombie!’ message saw the undead storm to an historic victory.

Once in power, the zombies rounded up the living and installed them in battery-style farms, living only to provide sustenance for their grotesque masters.

(delete as appropriate)

AND THAT’S WHY WE HAVE OUR PRESENT GOVERNMENT/THOSE ZOMBIES WERE THE NAZIS/COMMUNISTS/CONSERVATIVES/LIBERALS/WE GET THE GOVERNMENT WE DESERVE/WE ARE ALL ZOMBIES, RIGHT, DO YOU SEE? DO YOU?/IT’S POLITICAL CORRECTNESS GONE MAD/LET’S NUKE THE CEMETARIES/insert your own moral/analogy here: ____________________________

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Written by hahildebrand

October 27, 2010 at 9:21 am

Posted in Things

Tagged with , ,

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