H Anthony Hildebrand

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Top 5 Genuine Statements From Insurance Form Claims

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The following are genuine statements made by actual people on insurance claim forms.

1.)  I was coming home from work, and I remember Heart’s ‘All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You’ was on the stereo, and I hit my brakes a fraction late and bumped into the car in front of me.

2.)  I had a bad reaction to some prawns, which is why the accident occurred

3.)  I thought it’d be fun to let the corpse drive!!!!!!!!! No, I was drunk.

4.)  I saw one of those billboards with a woman in a Wonderbra on it, her breasts trussed and presented, beckoning me towards them, to freedom – and I thought, I resent my penis’s slavery to this objectified imagery of womanhood, to an unrealistic standard derived from the basest of pornography, and I crave a new form of desire – a desire of respect, of mutual understanding, of LOVE. And I remember Heart’s ‘All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You’ was on the stereo, and I hit my brakes a fraction late and bumped into the car in front of me.

5.)  For a second I got my own body and the car confused, and I tried to get into myself, and I think that’s when I scratched the paintwork.

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Written by hahildebrand

August 1, 2011 at 9:36 pm

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